Awkward Salesman

So this thing just happened to me. I'm sure its happened to you.

Someone approaches you or someone near you, and their either asking for money or selling something. You know the drill.

The weird part, (for me at least) is that they almost always approach someone other than me first. Leaving me as an innocent bystander, anxiously trying to decide what to say when it's my turn.

Usually, whatever they're offering is of very little interest to me; it's usually some book i'll never read or a coupon book full of places ill never go.

Anyhow, its always a very awkward situation, the battle happens in my mind somewhat like this:

He hasn't made eye contact with me yet...I can still make a break for it....(alas in this case my laptop was completely unpacked, making an escape somewhat unrealistic)

Hope he talks to someone else. (almost always fails)

Then he asks: "Well what about you?"

My heart tears in two at this point.

My upbringing tells me to lock the doors and turn off the lights (metaphorically speaking of course). The lame, cliche adage of WWJD is also contending in my mind.

Today it was an older man, at least in his sixties. Full of smiles, although very awkward, you could tell he didn't exactly feel comfortable asking people for money, he hovered around the table where I sat for about fifteen minutes before he approached us.

If this person is genuinely in need, of course I want to help them. I want to buy them lunch even if I don't have money enough for me to eat. I want to buy them the medicine they need even if it means I go without something because so far in my life, God has always provided for me, I've never gone hungry, I've always had a place to stay etc. I want to pray for and love on this person. I want to hear their story. I want to pass on to them the fact that they are valued as a child of God. I want to help them see their worth in God just for being one of his children.

Back to the money....

I'm in college, so I'm poor, but of course, on this current day, I have cash in my wallet, from selling back camera lenses and for my month's food. I have absolutely no interest in this man's coupon book. He also has some children's wall calendar with drawings of angels on it. Not exactly my style. But then again, maybe this interaction is not about me.

So my logic tells me that if I buy from this man, being genuinely interested in his product, I'm a sucker.

If I just give him a donation a feel like I'm glorifying myself. Showing how great and generous I am.

Bible verse time...

2 Corinthians 9
6Remember this: Whoever sows sparingly will also reap sparingly, and whoever sows generously will also reap generously. 7Each man should give what he has decided in his heart to give, not reluctantly or under compulsion, for God loves a cheerful giver. 8And God is able to make all grace abound to you, so that in all things at all times, having all that you need, you will abound in every good work. 9As it is written:
"He has scattered abroad his gifts to the poor;
his righteousness endures forever."[a] 10Now he who supplies seed to the sower and bread for food will also supply and increase your store of seed and will enlarge the harvest of your righteousness. 11You will be made rich in every way so that you can be generous on every occasion, and through us your generosity will result in thanksgiving to God.

12This service that you perform is not only supplying the needs of God's people but is also overflowing in many expressions of thanks to God. 13Because of the service by which you have proved yourselves, men will praise God for the obedience that accompanies your confession of the gospel of Christ, and for your generosity in sharing with them and with everyone else. 14And in their prayers for you their hearts will go out to you, because of the surpassing grace God has given you. 15Thanks be to God for his indescribable gift!

Now I realize this passage is not specifically talking about people selling things to raise money. It's about offering at church. But I think the same principles apply. Especially if church is a way you live, rather than a building.

There's an incentive, (or a threat maybe?) for me to sow generously so that i may reap generously. But I'm not considering giving to this man so that I win the lotto, I don't think that's how giving is really supposed to work, that's not really giving. Giving, like love, is sacrificial.

I'm unsure how the whole "under compulsion" thing works at this point, I couldn't have very well planned for this.

Anyways, the scripture concludes:
"11You will be made rich in every way so that you can be generous on every occasion, and through us your generosity will result in thanksgiving to God."


So my wonderfully intelligent response is: "What's the cause?" (it sounded much more intelligent in my head) He explained to me that he is trying to raise money for a handicapped sports team, Wheelchair basketball essentially. I asked him if I could just make a donation. He said "ok five dollars?" I pulled out my wallet and expecting a fiver only find a ten and a one. The other bills are buried in an envelope which also contains a fifty and twenties. (I never ever have this much cash on me. This has to be a God thing.) I don't want to go into the envelope to get a five, and then make his heart leap when he sees the big bills, only to crush his soul a second later.

what the heck do you do?

So I give him the ten and tell him to keep the change.

He hands me the "Angels Among Us" wall calendar from the United Spinal Association and walks away happily.

I just sit there, in the student center of Baker College Flint Campus, next to a mac nerd I share a table with, who has just told this man "not today"-(as if possibly tomorrow is a better bet?), feeling completely awkward.

My fellow nerd goes into the little store and buys 5 dollars worth of snacks ten minutes later.

My mind continues relentlessly

"What if that guy is just lying and he's going to spend that money on perpetuating his drug addiction?"

"Nerd guy thinks I'm a sucker"

"Nerd guy thinks I'm trying to look better than him"

"Nerd guy thinks I'm rich and is thinking about asking me for money himself"

"11You will be made rich in every way so that you can be generous on every occasion, and through us your generosity will result in thanksgiving to God."

To me, the bottom line is this.

All I want in life is to be moderately happy and to know without and doubt that God is smiling on me. That he loves me and cares for me and I make him happy.

If my generosity can result in thanksgiving to God, that's worth it to me.

I would rather do what I can to make God smile than have cheddar chex mix and a coke.

Maybe the old guy was an angel. Maybe he's going to disappear as soon as he drives away. Sent only to rattle me and test my actions to see if they match the Jesus I claim. Or to finally give me something I can use to start the blog I've been wanting to forever.

Maybe I'm just a sucker and I gave money to help a child molester perpetuate his ring of perversion and torment.

I don't think its my place to be the judge of the world.
Would i give my money away as easily if the person asking had a needle already in his arm?
I don't know.
I don't know what i'd do.

Maybe I honestly got to support marginalized people.

I sure hope so.

More than that I hope God sees my heart and sets everything right.

What would you have done?